Labor of love

It is Valentine's Day, and although Neil and I have never really subscribed to the "Hallmark holiday, this year it has me thinking about the things we do for for each other in the name of love. More than ever, I really understand what women mean when they talk about childbirth and the whole experience of pregnancyand  that first year as being something men truly cannot understand. Since November of 2009, I have given my body up whole and soul for Sailee.


Breastfeeding has been the hot topic around our house for some time. Many women report having such wonderful life changing experiences with breastfeeding their babies. Such was not the case for me or many of my friends. The short version of the story is because Sailee never latched well and preferred the bottle early because of a need to supplement formula for her low birthweight, and developed a milk protein allergy, I have been pumping since her birth and am still going strong at 5 times per day. My cousin joked that we should take pictures of ourselves pumping in our offices to show our kids when they are older so they will appreciate us. The truth is, they never will. I never appreciated my mom for it, and Sailee will never appreciate me for it. Until you do it yourself for your own child, you cannot understand. The pain, the stress, the constant counting of ounces and sterilizing, never going anywhere without my pump and always cognizant that it's almost time to pump....you can really only do this out of unyielding love for your child. While I look forward to a time I wont have this exhausting routine, I am also conflicted about stopping because I really love that I can do this for Sailee, provide nourishment for her in a way that no one else can. It is a true labor of love that takes more effort and energy than I have ever invested in anything in my life.

Today, while Neil was at his evening class, I spent my Valentines trying to play cupid for Sailee and Chewie, who do love each other so much. I so badly wanted to capture this on camera that I spent about one hour trying to position them so that I could get a picture of the two of them interacting. If you have never tried to take a picture of a baby and a dog at the same time, you should, just for the sheer experience of it. Here are some attempts from tonight, and some other recent pics of the little munchkin.