Holiday Magic

When I was a teenager, we used to put up a tree every year to celebrate Christmas, even though it was not our holiday by religion. There was something so magical about all the lights and the busy crowds and the frostiness outside that I bought into that my parents started putting up the tree and subscribing to Santa when I was young. As I grew so did my responsibilities for keeping up the holiday spirit and so the putting up and taking down of the tree became my duty. At the age of about 13 I started to write a letter to myself to receive the following year when I would again open the boxes of tree parts and tangled lights as an organizational guide of what went where the year before. I loved this part. I loved writing the letter and I loved receiving the letter the following year. I always started the letter by saying "To: Deepa 1993...From: Deepa 1992." Looking back I think what was so magical about that letter was the passing of time that occured in between and the realization that so much had happened in one year between the constancy of the yearly tree assembly. As a teenager, changing so much from one year to the next, writing the letter and receiving it felt almost like the exchange transpired between two totally different people - one slightly less aware of the world around her and one slightly more.

Yesterday I looked at Neil and said, "How lucky are we to have Sailee and to have so many friends and family that love us and love her so much?" 2010 is the amazing year we will forever talk about. The birth of Sailee marks the biggest change in our lives thus far that we could ever have imagined or ever hoped for. As I reflect on the past decade I am entrenched in wonder at the young clueless people we were in the year 2001, and the people we are today. Ten short years ago, Neil and I were just beginning our relationship with each other, leaving our lives as students (or so we thought), starting our careers as a teacher and an engineer, and embarking upon our adult lives. For a good part of this decade I clung to the idea of being young, and often still thought of myself as a kid....and now I have one.

Time is an amazing concept, and one that has played so differently in our lives at various stages. As a young child, waiting for the next Christmas tree or the next birthday to be a little older and a little taller seemed almost impossible to bear. As a young mother now trying to savor and capture every precious moment, time is fleeting and cheating me. And yet as busy as I feel now balancing a full-time job and a family, I am thankful that I even have the luxury of time to realize and reflect on how precious these moments are.

Sailee is ever growing and changing almost by the minute these days. She is developing quite a little personality and is starting to recognize Neil and me as her parents, and has more recently started showing preference toward us when others try to hold her. At four months, she started teething, and very shortly thereafter learned how to scream! Just in the past few days we saw her sit up for the first time with no support for a good 15 minutes. She is starting to imitate and is quite the babbler. She also loves to stand while supported, and can do that for at least an hour before tiring, but still is not at all fond of the tummy-time that we keep requiring of her to prepare her to crawl. We have started to internalize that while she may never roll-over or crawl, she might just go from sitting to walking before we blink.

And then there is the hair. Oh the hair. Most people cannot believe she is only 5 months old with that head of hair, but truthfully I think she came out of the womb with more hair than most middle-aged men. Her hair is straight, so far, for which I am so thankful, but has hints of wavy/curliness and some occasional brown highlights. Be it what it is, I wish for her good health and good hair. With those two things I believe one can conquer the world.

In 2011, Sailee will grow from a 5 month old to a 17 month old. By this time next year, she will be walking and talking and will be a completely different baby from the one we know today with more preferences and opinions than we can think of now. I cannot imagine what kind of things we will do, the places we will go, the firsts we will experience, and I am certain we do not yet know the magnitude of the joy we will feel. I can only dream of what life is going to be like.

To: Deepa 2011...From: Deepa 2010
Enjoy it, every little minute.

Gratefulness

We need to do more to be thankful for the good fortune that has been bestowed upon us. This lesson was made very clear to us last weekend when, while celebrating Diwali at a party, my mom fell and broke her arm. Mom has been taking care of Sailee since I went back to work, and before that, had been coming at least 3-4 times a week just to help me around the house since she was born. In true Mom fashion, she would take incredible care of Sailee and still somehow find the time to clean and sterilize bottles, wash our dishes, do Sailee's laundry, sweep and mop, and make sure everything was in perfect order for me to come home and start the evening routine. When she got news that the arm that we were hoping was just badly bruised was actually broken, she cried, not because of the pain, but because it meant she could no longer take care of Sailee in the coming months.

When this happened, it reminded me how much we do take our family, particularly our parents, for granted. We probably don't do enough to show them how very much we appreciate their absolute and completely unconditional love for us or to be thankful for our own sheer luck at being born to such loving parents. Our parents, to this day, will drop everything at a moment's notice and come to our side in any and every situation. As their children, we are often so obliviously used to this that, until we became new parents and needed more support than we've ever needed before, I don't think we fully realized how incredible that is.

Since this happened, Dad has been taking half days at work to take on the double duty of taking care of Sailee and Mom and still finds enough energy to counsel me that everything is going to be fine and lift me up with his unsquashable positive attitude. And our family friends have offered so much support, sending meals and taking days off work to help out. It feels unbelievable to have this much love surrounding you and lifting you up when you're down, and reaffirms our decision to stay in Houston and be close to good friends and family.

In the meantime Miss Sailee is taking all these changes like a champ! Between all the daily changing of arms and transportation, she is still happy as can be. Almost 4 months now, we are all competing to make her laugh and squeal with delight, and I have to give it to Neil and Dad for their constant efforts to be as silly as possible. Sailee loves every minute of our attention and seeks it out on her own. Obsessed with her hands, she tries to show off how many fingers and fists she can get into her mouth at any time and how she can almost coordinate holding a bottle. This little girl really loves colors and textures and studies them with great zeal. She has also recently added many consonants to her repertoire, including M's and and occasional Bah.

As we approach the holiday season, we will be praying for a speedy recovery for Mom and the general health and well-being of all our loved ones. We truly have so much to be thankful for find much humility in the wealth of love, care, and concern that encompasses us.

See a video of Sailee laughing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REwtmu5vkGA

Time is flying

I've been meaning to post for some time now, but time is just slipping past me. This past week I ended my maternity leave and started working full-time again. This transition has been so difficult, and though there were a fair share of tears upon leaving my little angels at home, I trust that I will adjust to a new routine and we will survive this. Mom is here taking great care of Sailee and Chewie, and I have no worries, but I just so miss being home and absorbing every moment that passes. The debate continues in my head as to what to do next year - work or stay home or try part-time, but everything happens for a reason and we will figure it out in due time.

Last weekend we had Sailee's baarsa which is her naming ceremony. We had about 100 guests attend at Ashiana and we had a great time. Most surprising of all was Miss Sailee, who was such a great sport about being changed into different outfits and passed around and played with by every guest with a hankering for some baby love. It was such a wonderful feeling to have so much love around us and for everyone to get acquainted with one of the newest members of the Marathi clan.

Sailee is still growing leaps and bounds, and she is really resembling a baby as we always imagined. She talks and coos and kicks and laughs. She loves to play on her play mat and is particularly interested in the "other baby" in the mirror. The colors and textures seem to fascinate her and I am fascinated just watching her. If I could I would just do that all day.

Meanwhile, Neil and I are getting into a routine of trying to have healthier habits, like cooking more, cleaning more, staying more on top of ourselves and our time. What is really interesting to us is how much time we used to have that we did not make full use of. Since Sailee was born, every minute of every hour counts and I am constantly finding myself thinking of what I could be doing for her or for us as a family so that we are our optimal versions of ourselves, even if that means making purposeful time for simple rest, which is rare.We are paying more attention to how we live our lives so that we can be the best version of ourselves for Sailee, and create a healthy, happy, structured, and dependable environment for her as she grows. We are so privileged to have this little wonderous baby in our lives who will probably teach us more about ourselves than we could even ever teach each other or learn on our own, and maybe already has.

3 months old

Today Sailee is 3 months old. To us this is such a big milestone that it is hard to believe that before we had her, 3 months would pass by like nothing, without notice. Today Sailee is such a different baby than she was on July 16th. She is about 10 lbs and about 22 inches. She's still a little baby, considering some newborns are her same size. She has started to recognize me and Neil and Mom really well since we spend the most time with her, and she lights up when she makes eye contact with any one of us. She babbles and talks with us, literally with us and not at us, and she goes on and on for quite some time once she gets started. Her her little coos are purposeful and conversational, and she will often wait for me to respond before talking back. She has a very sweet temperament, and other than her tummy troubles, she never really complains without good reason. Sailee started sleeping through the night at around 6 weeks of age, and for that we are ever SO thankful. She's a very calm and happy baby, and so easy to fall in love with, and we have!

Sailee is definitely starting to notice the world around her. She loves being read to and sung to. She enjoys going on walks and looks around with amazement at all the colors. She has even started to notice Chewie. Chewie, ever so enamored with and protective of his litte sister, wants to greet her ever morning with kisses on her feet and legs, and loves to sit next to her while she drinks her bottle. Such is our life, and we constantly remind each other how lucky we are and marvel at how things came to be.

Neil and I are working hard at taking pictures regularly to capture these early moments in our lives. We have been so fortunate to have so many visitors that have made the effort to come to our home to see Sailee and get to know her. We are so thankful for our friends and family that are as excited to welcome her into our lives as we are, and have really enjoyed the company! Since we have decided to accept Neil's Houston offer, it looks like we will be around these parts for some time, and will have so many more opportunities to create memories with our loved ones. While this was a difficult decision as we had both dreamed of a day when we would be able to venture out of Texas for some time, in the end we decided it was too important to us that Sailee know her grandparents and aunts and uncles and all our friends, and that their influence in her life would be immeasurable.

In another 3 months, Sailee will be eating some solid foods and sitting up on her own. It is really incredible to think she's turning into a real person! We really look forward to her adding more vowels to her repertoire. We love her so much and both agree that there is no love you can imagine like the love you have for your own child. Our parents have always said that to us, but we never truly understood that until now.

Happy birthday Sailee! We love you little one.

Oh, October

It is hard to believe October is already here. While we are really enjoying and taking advantage of the change in weather, I have been dreading this month since Sailee was born because it marks the end of my time with her. In a few short weeks, I will move back into my office, and I have a suspicion I will quickly start feeling like I am taking care of others' children while leaving my own at home. Granted, Sailee will be in my mother's very capable hands, but still I will so miss all the feedings and snuggly times, watching her take in all the sights and sounds around her, watching her move and kick, staring at each other, and talking with her! Sailee has started more recently to really enjoy talking. Most of our conversations are aaahs and ooohs, but the other day she was really excited to tryout her newest word, "Aaah-khoooooo." I am so incredibly enamored of my little precious baby and we have so much fun together. In the coming months, I know she will change so much more, and it is tearing me apart to know I will only have a few short hours with her everyday to be a part of her growing and changing. Going back to work while she is so little might be the hardest thing I will ever have to do. At least it feels that way now.