The summer ended with Neil's completion of his bar exam, Sailee's first haircut, a fabulous birthday party for Miss 1, who was surrounded by all her closest admirers, followed by an emergency appendectomy for me! We have had a huge learning curve in terms of being two working parents, and for me, there is the constant fluctuation between the very palpable guilt of working full-time to dreaming of being the perfect stay at home mom (the expert time manager whose floors are always clean and whose dinner is always on the table). While I dont think I am cut for the latter, somewhere in between might be nice, but I havent found that yet. And so I compensate by giving Sailee more attention and forced hugs and kisses than she can even bear (and I am thankful that she is still small enough for me to pin down). And so does the conversation cascade between us of how we will shape and design our future and Sailee's childhood. The wheres and whens and hows weave the fabric of our every day conversation as we wonder how the decisions we make today will or won't shape the family we want to be and the person she will become.
Sailee at 14 months is everywhere and in everything, and she has an agenda and she is determined to stick to it. Dare you get in her way and you will feel the wrath of this toddler with a furrowed brow. She pulls off the electrical outlet covers, she grabs knives out of the dishwasher, and she runs and falls on purpose so she can roll over and yell out Uh-OH!! If we say "NO" to her, she will bat her eyes slowly and look down for just a second, and if we're really mad she may even lay down and look up with puppy dog eyes, and then test us by smiling and giggling to see if we are over it yet. She is creative and funny and quite the miniature entertainer. Sweet she is, but not so much the no-fuss little gal I imagined her to be when she was a wee 6 month old. Thankfully, we are not yet to the stage where she cannot sit still in public for a good chunk of time. I know that day is coming....soon. She is energetic beyond belief and loves physical activity. Her hair is always a mess despite my constant effort to keep little bows and pins in her hair. She is defiant against them and we just cant do much beyond the Pebbles updo or on a good day, Pippy Longstocking. She kisses my toes and knees, and forces herself on Chewie for kisses. She makes games of running away and back around to me to bury her face in my lap, just for a second, only to run away again. But cuddle she does not, and when I force a cuddle she pushes me away with her fists strong against my chest....already??? She calls Chewie "Haannaah" and pretty much everything else is "Mama" or "Bama."
Today, I am one year older, and I just feel like time is sliding past me like a conveyor belt that I cant get on. It has been 2 months since I last wrote, and I cannot account for the lost time! It seems Sailee was 1 year old just for a second, and she's off to toddlerhood. Every day I look at her and every time she giggles at some silly face Neil makes I think to myself that too soon, she will roll her eyes at us and be embarrassed of her nerdy parents. Just for a second, she will follow me around and care for what I say and do, and one fleeting second later, she will be carving her own path. Every day, just for a second, I look at her and still wonder how it's possible that she is really my daughter. And I am so grateful...just for a second....and then we're off!
Here are just a few photos from Sailee's first haircut and birthday party.
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| Sailee's hair - PRE Haircut! |
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| First haircut before our first birthday |
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